A short while ago I discovered my son had been gambling and run up over £1,000 in my name. After hitting the roof I cancelled the contract and paid the balance. I told his GP, Parkinsons Nurse and anyone he might borrow from. His medication was changed. He was given long term antibiotics and antihistamines for a severe rash on his body and face. This and the shock of the gambling coming to light has made him excessively tired. (Genuinely) He did not want to see me or discuss the gambling until this tiredness passed. He has not worked since it all came out.
I started seeing him again last Friday and daily since to apply the cream to his back, take him shopping, to the GP and for lunch out.
His house is a dreadful mess. Dishes piled high in cold water, loads beside the sink. Washing bundle sky high. Litter bins full etc. Normally I would have done the lot. His cleaner comes for 2 hours tomorrow but this is more than she will manage. I said to him today, that he needs to increase his cleaners hours by one or two more a week. He agreed but I don't know if he will do it.
I have a hard core of anger at the pit of my stomach regarding doing this housework. If he could spend thousands gambling in the last 6 months, he could pay the cleaner extra !
I am quite fit for doing it and he IS ill. He has the higher rate of disability benefit plus his pay for 4 days a week.
A mortgage etc. I don't know if he has other debts or not. He has paid me £300 towards his debt.
When out for lunch today I made him pay his own but felt guilty. Also feel guilty about not cleaning. It will affect our relationship.
Advise please.
Am I being mean ? Advise Please.
I started seeing him again last Friday and daily since to apply the cream to his back, take him shopping, to the GP and for lunch out.
His house is a dreadful mess. Dishes piled high in cold water, loads beside the sink. Washing bundle sky high. Litter bins full etc. Normally I would have done the lot. His cleaner comes for 2 hours tomorrow but this is more than she will manage. I said to him today, that he needs to increase his cleaners hours by one or two more a week. He agreed but I don't know if he will do it.
I have a hard core of anger at the pit of my stomach regarding doing this housework. If he could spend thousands gambling in the last 6 months, he could pay the cleaner extra !
I am quite fit for doing it and he IS ill. He has the higher rate of disability benefit plus his pay for 4 days a week.
A mortgage etc. I don't know if he has other debts or not. He has paid me £300 towards his debt.
When out for lunch today I made him pay his own but felt guilty. Also feel guilty about not cleaning. It will affect our relationship.
Advise please.
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