Hello everyone,
I'm afraid I'm looking for help again. Don't know what to expect really, just need to say all this out loud instead of it going round and round in my head.
OH and I moved to South West France nearly 3 years ago and instead of it getting easier it just gets harder and harder, but only for me. I had huge misgivings about coming here in the first place. We had a lovely little cottage in a beautiful setting in Sussex, my cake-making business was really taking off and I have 3 wonderful children in their early 20s. OH said we couldn't afford to live there any more, that he wanted the good life etc. We had a good life, living in beautiful countryside and we both had plenty of work. Our mortgage was tiny so our living expenses were very low, but he was adamant that we would have to move sooner or later and he wasn't prepared to try another part of the UK, only France, which had been his dream for years. Now his pension would more than cover our old mortgage. We had talked about it for 10 years and in the end I just felt there was no option and I wanted to show my children that it was good to try adventures.
I have just found it so hard being here, I don't really have any friends - I was never good at that but I had a few, which were enough. It is so isolated here, we were in the country in the UK, as I've said, but here there is nothing. I miss just being able to pop into our local town and speak to people, its like I've disappeared. I am slowly beginning to build up my business again but it is so terribly hard. My husband doesn't speak a word of French so I have to do it all, sort everything out. All of my worst fears have come to be true, I spend most of my time running around after him. it doesn't matter what I am doing, if he wants something done or sorting I have to drop everything. We have spent most of our time working on our home and I do just the same as him, demolishing, laying concrete....................but guess who also does all the cleaning and cooking. I am really starting to resent him so much. Never a great one for presents etc. he has even stopped bothering with Christmas and my birthday and as for Valentine's day, well he never did anyway!
on top of all this I miss my family so very very much. My daughter works abroad, so I only get to see her occasionally and had to learn to live with that quite a while ago but today is my twin sons' birthday and I feel so far away from them. I have so little money that I have only been able to make a tiny donation for a present. One of my boys (the one with the horrid girlfriend I posted about last year) has received a very generous present from her parents and I feel I have nothing of value to offer them. My boys are in business with my brother and he took them for a weekend skiing for their Christmas present. He never misses an opportunity to tell me how much he has done/is doing for them. I can't even make them a cake! I am due to have a colonoscopy this week, (routine over here if there is a family history) and I am sort of hoping they'll find something bad. At least if I die before I'm 60 they'll get my life insurance. And I feel that I am just living for the sake of it now. I was always so driven, life had a purpose and I knew what I wanted and where I was going, now I just seem to be going through the motions.
I keep trying so hard to make it work, my husband just couldn't manage without me and he has told me that if I go back to the UK it would have to be alone. He says it would kill him to go back. I just want my old life back. I can't find anything to be positive about. That seems so ungrateful, we have a beautiful home in a beautiful setting but my life is so empty. Sorry ladies
Very very low
I'm afraid I'm looking for help again. Don't know what to expect really, just need to say all this out loud instead of it going round and round in my head.
OH and I moved to South West France nearly 3 years ago and instead of it getting easier it just gets harder and harder, but only for me. I had huge misgivings about coming here in the first place. We had a lovely little cottage in a beautiful setting in Sussex, my cake-making business was really taking off and I have 3 wonderful children in their early 20s. OH said we couldn't afford to live there any more, that he wanted the good life etc. We had a good life, living in beautiful countryside and we both had plenty of work. Our mortgage was tiny so our living expenses were very low, but he was adamant that we would have to move sooner or later and he wasn't prepared to try another part of the UK, only France, which had been his dream for years. Now his pension would more than cover our old mortgage. We had talked about it for 10 years and in the end I just felt there was no option and I wanted to show my children that it was good to try adventures.
I have just found it so hard being here, I don't really have any friends - I was never good at that but I had a few, which were enough. It is so isolated here, we were in the country in the UK, as I've said, but here there is nothing. I miss just being able to pop into our local town and speak to people, its like I've disappeared. I am slowly beginning to build up my business again but it is so terribly hard. My husband doesn't speak a word of French so I have to do it all, sort everything out. All of my worst fears have come to be true, I spend most of my time running around after him. it doesn't matter what I am doing, if he wants something done or sorting I have to drop everything. We have spent most of our time working on our home and I do just the same as him, demolishing, laying concrete....................but guess who also does all the cleaning and cooking. I am really starting to resent him so much. Never a great one for presents etc. he has even stopped bothering with Christmas and my birthday and as for Valentine's day, well he never did anyway!
on top of all this I miss my family so very very much. My daughter works abroad, so I only get to see her occasionally and had to learn to live with that quite a while ago but today is my twin sons' birthday and I feel so far away from them. I have so little money that I have only been able to make a tiny donation for a present. One of my boys (the one with the horrid girlfriend I posted about last year) has received a very generous present from her parents and I feel I have nothing of value to offer them. My boys are in business with my brother and he took them for a weekend skiing for their Christmas present. He never misses an opportunity to tell me how much he has done/is doing for them. I can't even make them a cake! I am due to have a colonoscopy this week, (routine over here if there is a family history) and I am sort of hoping they'll find something bad. At least if I die before I'm 60 they'll get my life insurance. And I feel that I am just living for the sake of it now. I was always so driven, life had a purpose and I knew what I wanted and where I was going, now I just seem to be going through the motions.
I keep trying so hard to make it work, my husband just couldn't manage without me and he has told me that if I go back to the UK it would have to be alone. He says it would kill him to go back. I just want my old life back. I can't find anything to be positive about. That seems so ungrateful, we have a beautiful home in a beautiful setting but my life is so empty. Sorry ladies
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